When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was check the news, hoping somehow that I’d only dreamed it. Then reality hit me all over again. Sir Patrick Stewart was gone.
This has been a devastating week for us Trekkies, with the loss of Walter Koenig, our Pavel Chekov, earlier in the week too. But losing Sir Patrick has hit me particularly hard.
I’m still trying to come to terms with losing my Mum in September. That grief is still so raw, and now I find myself mourning someone else who was such an important part of my life. It honestly feels like I’ve lost another member of the family.
I will always treasure the memories of Mum and me sitting down together to watch the latest episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation. For that little while, we’d join Jean-Luc Picard and his crew on another adventure. At the time, we were simply watching a programme we loved. Looking back now, those ordinary moments together mean more than I could ever have understood then.
Sir Patrick Stewart is part of those memories. His face, his voice, that familiar presence on the bridge of the Enterprise. Watching him will always remind me of sitting there with Mum, glued to the television.
Like James T. Kirk before him, Jean-Luc Picard was always there when I needed him. During some of my darkest days, I could put on an episode of The Next Generation and, for a while, things would feel a little better. The problems hadn’t disappeared, but there was comfort in returning to those familiar faces.
Sir Patrick gave Picard such warmth, dignity and humanity. I believed in that captain. I trusted him. And over the years, that familiar voice became one I could turn to when life felt difficult.
Some people might think it’s stupid to get this upset about a celebrity. Someone I never met. Someone who never knew I existed. But I don’t feel the need to defend it. I know what he meant to me, and I know how much comfort his work has brought me throughout my life.
Today, I’m thinking about Sir Patrick, about everything he gave us, and about Mum. I wish she were here so we could talk about it. I wish we could sit down together and watch just one more episode.
Thank you, Sir Patrick, for the adventures, the reassurance, and the memories I’ll always carry with me.
You were more than just an actor to me.
You were my captain.
