Today has been such a tough day. Mum’s final journey.
For the past couple of weeks, I’ve taken a small, sad comfort in knowing that she was still here. Even though it was only her body, there was something about knowing she was still physically somewhere in this world that I could hold on to.
Today, that changed. Knowing that her body is gone too has brought a sense of finality that I’m struggling to deal with or to put into words. It feels like another goodbye, when I’m still trying to come to terms with the first.
Now I have the memories, the photographs and the home videos. I’m so grateful for those, for the chance to see her face and hear her voice again. But today, it’s painfully hard knowing that I can only watch and remember. I can’t reach out and hug her, or tell her about my day and hear her tell me about hers.
I miss you, Mum. And today, I’m feeling that loss even more deeply.
